[Ed. Note:  The opinions expressed below are solely those of the author.  They do not represent the opinions of the editor, publisher, or this publication.  Anyone with a medical problem is strongly encouraged to seek professional medical care.]    

July 31, 2007 --

There once was a girl named Colleen.
She was tall and dangly and lean.
With big blue eyes,
She seldom told lies
But boy was she a clumsy queen.....

In high school she would randomly pass out;
Once in the hallway the darkness closed in and down she went, poor lass!
It turned out to be a football player of six foot three,
And she awoke with a giggling plea.

She always knew she was different. Headaches plagued her life,
She thought how will I ever be a wife?
The older she grew the more she realized this vegetarian girl had been told many lies!
From traction therapy, migraine medicine, chiropractic care, and alternative healing, the wallet became thinner and she became sillier.

Then came the testing for MS and Lupus.
The doctors weren’t sure why she was so clumsy,
And why does she have lesions in her brain?
They could not be from the headaches all of her life, that seems too simple,
Lets do more testing!

Into her thirties she stumbled in with a crash,
More bruises on her body and they kept coming fast!
She fell quite often, became forgetful, this vegetarian girl,
How do we help her?

An MRI was ordered for the second year in a row,
The first year showed a large cyst- but the brain?
We don’t know!

Your symptoms should be asymptomatic,
"Am I crazy she asked"?
For what is wrong with this Irish vegetarian Lass?
Finally another year of doctors visits and such
And the second MRI came with much fuss,

The cyst is still their but "whoa, what is that?"
How did we miss that your brain is long like a piece of spring grass!
"Oh my", said the doctor, "the radiologist must have missed,
For you have an Arnold Chiari Malformation, silly name, isn't it?".
I don’t’ know not much about it,
But an appointment was scheduled for a neurosurgeon to look at your brain that has dribbled!.

Two different specialists later with an 18 mm malformation, I was on my way,
Off to NY, what’s more to pay?
I will use my insurance and work off the rest,
Could this be the relief for this vegetarian Irish princess?

Into the pre-op I squiggled and squirmed,
My husband and parents looked on with concern.
The IVs were set, and the discussions were done,
It's time to get up, “I don’t think this will be fun”.

Five hours later, she was wheeled into ICU, her loved ones looking upon her as she smiled in pain,
“Here my dear love, be friends with morphine”.
Four days later till she could leave, this vegetarian princess wanted to feel normal again- the food in the hospital full of chicken and beef,
To be home eating soybeans, what a relief!

Back at her families in New York Land,
She slept and she slept and became somewhat stronger again.
The time had come to have her staples removed,
With the shiny zipper out,
She wanted to shout,
But the pain in her head,
Still filled her with dread.

With a deep sigh, her patch, how long will it last?
“Oh the bovine?” the neurosurgeon said with a twinkle,
Well my girl that bovine heart patch will last several months, then will be absorbed into your body!
The beauty you see, of bovine will be, that the natural animal proteins blend in with your being!

Whoa, wait, bovine you say?
We discussed synthetic, please be joking my way!
No, no, said he the bovine heart is good.
You will soon have your bodies natural collagen and scar tissue fill that void,
The cow will dissipate in a matter of months!

Ugh, I thought and lost my lunch.
This vegetarian Princess once named Colleen,
Now had Bessie the Cow’s heart on her brain.
This recovering girl became the new Mooleen!

Letter to the reader:
I just had surgery June 22nd 2007. I am still very much in recovery and had staples out a short time ago. The irony of this entire thing is that all along since I was a child I struggled and the answer was only an MRI (with a radiologist reading it correctly) away. The additional irony is the fact that I have been a die hard vegetarian for years and how have a cows heart on my brain. :-) I am optimistic that I will be relieved of most symptoms and be given the life that I never fully had. Thank you for this Chiari website, I met a fantastic mentor on your support pages that also had the surgery and walked me through every step of the way. The website essentially gave me the strength and courage to move forward. As a 31 year old woman, plagued with symptoms that had worsened over my life, I am happy to be on the other side towards recovery.

Peace and Good Health,
Colleen from Vermont
Still a vegetarian with a little beef on the brain :-)

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